Infidelity, the act of being disloyal to a spouse or partner, has become a major issue in many relationships. It usually refers to violating a promise or commitment by having sexual or romantic interactions with someone who is not one’s spouse or partner. Popularly referred to as cheating, infidelity has become one of the centered reasons for breakups in relationships. However, there are many things we need to know about infidelity, such as its causes, types, effects, and solutions.
There are several causes of infidelity in relationships, and understanding them can help in avoiding them. One of the main causes of infidelity is revenge. This happens when one partner cheats to cause pain to the other partner. This is when the partner cheats or has cheated before, and the other also does the same, so his or her partner will go through the pain he or she went through while being cheated on. In some cases, it could also be a way to retaliate for other perceived wrongdoings in the relationship.
Another common cause of infidelity is falling out of love. This happens when the strong love developed at the start of the relationship begins to fade out as a result of losing the over excitement, passion, and frequent communication for each other. This usually happens when the partner expects the same zeal at the start of the relationship to continue, but it does not happen, which makes him or her gradually lose interest.
Unmet needs are also a common cause of infidelity. This often refers to the inability of one partner to satisfy the other partner’s needs. These needs can be sexual, financial, or emotional. Sexual needs occur when one partner is not able to satisfy the other partner’s sexual pleasures to his or her satisfaction. Financial needs may arise when one partner is unable to provide certain basic needs like food, clothes, and personal accessories. Emotional needs refer to giving support, encouraging words to ease the partner’s emotional pain and trauma. Failure to meet these needs could result in one partner seeking satisfaction elsewhere.
Wanting variety is another cause of infidelity. This happens when a partner is attracted to the opposite sex and would like to try out new sex styles, conversations, or communication styles. Some partners often engage themselves in this to find whose sexual drive matches theirs in order to make a final decision on whom to settle with.
There are different types of infidelity, and understanding them can also help in avoiding them. One of the types is obligatory infidelity. This occurs when one partner is superior to the other, and the less superior has no choice but to succumb to the superior to avoid losing whatever thing given to him or her by the superior. An example of such infidelity is a worker and a boss or a student and a lecturer.
Opportunistic infidelity occurs when opportunities avail themselves to partners, and they take advantage of such opportunities. Here, partners do not need to fully commit to their extra partners; rather, they wait for an opportune time for everything to unfold on its own. Some of these opportunities include getting tipsy after taking alcohol, getting a free offer from friends of the opposite sex, often called “friends with benefits.”
Romantic infidelity occurs when a partner develops some kind of emotional feelings for the extra partner but is unable to be together due to the commitment the partner has with his or her other partner in their relationship. In such cases, the partner continues to flirt with the extra partner without pushing the relationship to the next level until his or her committed spouse quits the relationship. An example is a side-chick relationship.
Conflicted romantic infidelity refers to a situation where a partner develops genuine feelings for someone other than their spouse, leading to a love triangle that can cause pain and problems for all involved parties. The partner may find themselves torn between their love for both their spouse and the extra partner.
On the other hand, commemorative infidelity occurs when there are no feelings involved in a relationship, but partners continue to stay together out of a sense of duty. In this case, partners may justify their infidelity by seeking what they are not getting in their current relationship, such as affection or sexual desires.
Infidelity can have several negative effects on individuals, including personalized betrayal, a lack of trust in future relationships, anxiety and depression, and being stuck in the past. Those who have been cheated on may feel as though they were personally betrayed and blame themselves for their partner’s infidelity. This can lead to a lack of trust in future relationships, making it difficult to form healthy partnerships.
Anxiety and depression may also occur in the aftermath of infidelity, especially if the feelings for the cheating partner are still strong. Additionally, infidelity can cause partners to remain stuck in the past, making it hard to move on even if the relationship is rebuilt.
Overall, while there may be various reasons why infidelity occurs in relationships, it is important to remember that the consequences of such actions can be severe and long-lasting. It is advisable to remain committed and true to one’s partner to avoid the pain and suffering that can come from infidelity.
Credit: Eunice Dacosta Gyebi
