Is Marriage Contract a License to Heaven? Leave to Live [FEATURE]

By Dickens Asare Ofori Adjei

It rained from my eyes with no bucket to catch the tears. A thunderstorm erupted in my heart as I read the full story on the Daily Graphic website. I turned the shirt I was wearing into a handkerchief that day. Rain has its causes, just as the sky cries when it can no longer hold back. My flood of tears had a cause too. The headline shattered me: “Husband who burnt wife, 5 children and grandchild suspected her of infidelity.” I wept bitterly only after reading the details. On November 2, 2025, in Akyempim, Upper Denkyira East Municipality, Central Region, a farmer and small-scale miner, Yaw Afriyie, allegedly locked his wife, Ama Dapaah, their five children (Maame Yaa, Kobby Snr, Kwame, Kobby Junior, and Maame Anima), and their seven-month-old grandchild (Kodwo) inside a bedroom, doused it with petrol, and set it ablaze over jealousy-fueled suspicions after years of abuse. Firefighters arrived too late at 1:20 a.m., finding the home in ruins and seven lives lost.

Just weeks later, on November 17, 2025, a viral video from Ofankor in the Ga East Municipality showed John Odartey Lamptey brutally beating his half-naked wife with a stick in their compound. Three days after that, on November 19, 2025, in Obuasi Abompe, Ashanti Region, 27-year-old Sylvester Sowah (also known as Nana Yaw) allegedly shot his girlfriend, Abena Charlotte, dead because she said she was leaving. She was tired of inhaling his weed smoke every day and refused to fund “one last roll.” Neighbours heard three gunshots around 10 p.m. Another woman dead, just for saying, “I have had enough.” From petrol fire to sticks to bullets — all because these women were accused of cheating, beaten for existing, or killed for daring to walk away.

As an advocate against violence towards women and children, I speak directly to every Ghanaian woman — and every woman anywhere — trapped in a destructive relationship: reject the poisonous cultural script that commands you to endure harm for the sake of a ring, a title, or the tired phrase “marriage is for better or for worse.”

The latest global data are heartbreaking. According to the new World Health Organization (WHO) report, Violence against women prevalence estimates, 2023, released ahead of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and Girls (25 November), nearly one in three women worldwide (approximately 840 million) have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence from any perpetrator in their lifetime.

In the past 12 months alone, 12.5 million adolescent girls aged 15–19 — or 16% — experienced forced sexual contact or physical violence from an intimate partner.

“Violence against women is one of humanity’s oldest and most pervasive injustices, yet still one of the least acted upon,” said Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General.

The same WHO report further states that women who survive such violence face higher risks of unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections (including HIV), depression, and a lifetime of trauma. Sexual and reproductive health services remain a critical entry point for survivors to receive the high-quality, compassionate care they deserve.

In Ghana, the 2022 Demographic and Health Survey revealed that 34% of ever-married women aged 15–49 have experienced physical, emotional, or sexual violence by a husband or partner (Ghana Statistical Service, 2023). Even more disturbingly, 61% reported experiencing at least one form of controlling behaviour by their current or most recent husband or partner. This controlling behaviour — now formally recognised as coercive control — is not random anger. It is a deliberate pattern of domination designed to strip away autonomy. It is the foundation upon which physical violence is later built.

For those who believe endurance will eventually “change him,” the statistics on femicide deliver a brutal correction. Since August 2021, more than 100 women in Ghana have been killed by current or former intimate partners (Gender Centre for Empowering Development [GenCED], ongoing tracker, 2025). Femicide is almost always preceded by a documented history of abuse.

Dear sister, your first red flag is the demand for total control: economic sabotage, isolation from family and friends, constant monitoring, verbal degradation, or the minimisation of your worth. When coercion, threats, emotional manipulation, or financial deprivation are used to keep you in line, let me tell you this: he is not “stressed.” He is showing you the road map — and the destination can be death.

The Deadly Cost of “Obedience”

In Ghana, domestic violence remains grossly under-reported because religious leaders, family members, and even some counsellors pressure women to withdraw complaints in order to “save the marriage.” This well-meaning but lethal advice communicates one clear message: the institution of marriage is more valuable than a woman’s life. Societal attitudes uncovered by the 2022 DHS are concerning; significant percentages of both women and men believe a husband is justified in beating his wife if she goes out without telling him, argues with him, neglects the children, refuses sex, or burns the food (Ghana Statistical Service, 2023). When culture normalises violence as a form of “discipline,” staying becomes a slow acceptance of your own potential murder.

The Prophecy in Every Red Flag

Every act of control, every slap, every threat is a prophecy. Abusers rarely stop; they escalate. Children who witness domestic violence are far more likely to repeat or suffer the cycle as adults (WHO, 2021). Your endurance does not protect your children. It endangers them instead. Your life is not a bargaining chip for respectability. Your marriage certificate is not a visa to heaven; it is a legal contract, not a suicide pact. When that piece of paper is soaked in threats, fear, and blood, it becomes your death warrant.

So I beg you: the moment you recognise coercive control, violent outbursts, or economic imprisonment, leave with the urgency of someone escaping a burning house. The sanctity of life supersedes the sanctity of any contract. Your marriage certificate is not a deed to a heavenly mansion; it is merely a piece of paper that, if stained with blood, becomes your death warrant. Do not let the fear of a broken home become the reality of a broken life. Seek help immediately. Your survival is not negotiable, and your life is worth fighting for.

The only viable path when facing the lethal threat of intimate partner violence is to LEAVE TO LIVE.