Sometime ago, I observed a scene in one Ghanaian movie, and though it was a funny one, I picked up something critical to life. It was about a couple who had two boys in the habit of stealing, and so they planned to discipline them together. Eventually, they worked out their plan, caught the boys red-handed one afternoon, and whipped them together. What an interesting scene it was, but I noticed something important. I call this ‘Agreement in Parenting’.
There is power in agreement; whenever people agree to do something together, they are more likely to achieve it. It can be referred to as the driving force in every marriage. People agree to be husband and wife, to live together, to achieve much together, and eventually it happens. In the role of parenting, it is very important that parents agree on how their children will be raised.
Presently, our world suffers from so many societal defects that arise from a lack of proper upbringing for our children. People today have no respect for others and lack behavioural ethics as well as decency of speech. All these are simply because their parents or guardians must have failed to bring them up rightly. Some were brought up by single parents, others by grandparents, divorced parents, and significantly by couples who had no agreement on how their children should be brought up.
“A Father believes children should not be disciplined because they are only kids, and a Mother says they must be disciplined when they go wrong. Children misbehave and get the backing of the father to escape discipline” – disagreement.
“Mama thinks the children need extra tuition at home to improve their academic performance; Papa thinks it’s a waste of resources. – disagreement.
“Mum believes just a Sunday service is enough for children; Dad believes the children need to join weekday services as well as have devotions at home to have their faith anchored. Mum complains whenever Dad wakes the children early to have devotion” – disagreement.
“Daddy believes all that concern the kids is the role of Mummy; he only pays the bills; he has no part in raising kids. Mummy believes Daddy, being the family head, should be actively involved in the kids’ upbringing. Daddy reacts angrily whenever Mummy brings up the issue of him not spending time with the kids” – disagreement.
As long as parents disagree, we cannot have our kids brought up in the right way. Every couple needs to spend time deciding in agreement how the children should be brought up. Fathers, as the heads of the nuclear family, need to spearhead this. There must be agreement in parenting.
When parents agree, the home will always be a place of good nurturing for our children. When parents agree on training for their children, we can rest assured that in a few years, our society will be occupied by well-mannered individuals.
I entreat you, dear parents, to live in agreement and raise our children in agreement; our society counts on you.
-selah-
Joyous Ocran,
Team Lead, Joyous Trainings & Consult
Takoradi
